20 Things I’ve Learned from 18 Years of Holistic Parenting


From a Holistic Mom Who’s Been There

(Part 1)

I have been parenting holistically for 18 years. I’d like to share with you what I consider the most important nuggets from all the years of being a natural holistic mom. While times are changing rapidly and things are a lot different now, much of what I learned from experience remains true today.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. And there are fewer rights or wrongs than most imagine since each child is unique and may require a different approach than another child. I made some mistakes as a young mother, but I also did a lot of things that I know were best for my daughter. Some of the items on this list I’m still trying to live up to. Let’s face it, it’s an ongoing process.

In some of the tips I include a link where you can go if you want more information.

1.  Take care of yourself!

This is crucially important and at the #1 top of the list since if you don’t do this and you are constantly stressed and tired, you can’t be emotionally or physically present with your children. I’m not suggesting you neglect your child. I am suggesting you honor yourself and take time for what you need. Do what it takes for you to be healthy. Children often mimic behavior they witness versus what they’re told to do. In the long run everyone will benefit from this.

https://healthychild.com/the-art-of-self-care-for-mothers

2.  Ask for help.

Seriously. Just pick up the phone and ask a friend or family member for what you need to make your life easier. You’ll be surprised at how much others are willing and able to support you and your child.

 3.  Develop your intuition and learn to listen to it. Trust your instincts.

Moms have a great gift – intuition. This intuition is driven by powerful maternal hormones – prolactin and oxytocin – that are stimulated by holding and breastfeeding babies. All the mind clutter and outside stuff trying to get your attention can interfere with this. When you can loosen the grip of all the other voices and tap in to your own inner guidance to parent from your heart, you will naturally know what to do to meet your children’s needs. Go with what feels right, what your natural instincts are telling you.

4.  Find a doctor you can trust.

Find a doctor you can easily talk to and who respects you and your decisions. When I was pregnant I interviewed several pediatricians. When I said I was unsure about vaccines and wanted to do some research before making a decision, all of these doctors except one told me that if I didn’t vaccinate they would either kick me out of their practice or harass me each time I went in. Only one had a meaningful, respectful conversation with me and supported me in making my own choice. Guess which one I chose?

5.  Question your doctor if what he or she says does not feel right to you.

Your child’s doctor cannot possibly know everything that you know about your child. Ask questions until you feel satisfied that what your doctor is recommending is the right thing for your child. If you’re really  not comfortable with your doctor’s opinion, get a second one.

6.  If possible, create a team of doctors.

You may want to have a chiropractor, a naturopathic physician, a pediatrician, and a Chinese medical doctor/acupuncturist available as primary care doctors or as needed, depending on your child’s needs.

https://healthychild.com/choosing-a-health-practitioner-for-your-child
https://healthychild.com/health-professional-directories-and-holistic-parenting-communities

7.  Learn as much as you can about typical and serious childhood illnesses.

If you know the signs and symptoms of diseases and know which ones are serious, you will know what you can manage at home and when you should call a doctor on your team.

8.  Learn all you can about herbs, homeopathy and nutritional supplements so you can treat the minor stuff on your own.

9.  Do whatever you can to reduce or eliminate toxins in your children’s environment.

Young children are especially vulnerable to toxins. Find out how they may be exposed and take whatever steps you can to reduce exposures. It’s impossible to completely eliminate all chemicals from their environment, but make sure you take care of the big things that you do have control of, especially their sleeping environment. Make sure this space is as toxin-free as possible by providing a non-toxic mattress and bedding, and an air purifier for breathing clean air.

http:///healthychild.com/baby-crib-mattress-make-sure-its-non-toxic/

https://healthychild.com/kids-beds-are-a-source-of-chemical-exposure/

https://healthychild.com/safe-co-sleeping-on-a-non-toxic-mattress

http:///healthychild.com/indoor-air-pollution-how-to-protect-your-children/

10.  Make up your own mind about vaccines.

Don’t trust anyone’s opinion or follow anyone else’s views about whether you should vaccinate or not. This includes your pediatrician since most are very biased but have not done enough research or really know how vaccines may affect your child. Do your own thorough vaccine research so you can fully understand all the issues, pros and cons. Whether you vaccinate or not, you are the one who will have to live with the consequences. If you are unsure and have doubts, then don’t do anything until you feel you are making the right choice for you and your children. I decided to wait until my daughter was a year old before making any decisions about vaccines. I did this to allow her immune and nervous systems to develop further, while I took the time to fully dig into the research. When she turned one, I made a very confident decision and since I was fully informed, I knew I was doing the right thing for her. It was a decision I never regretted, not even for a moment.

11. Don’t take it personally.

Your children are going to act out, have tantrums, challenge your authority, and be disrespectful. It’s not about you, it’s about them and their needs. If you take it personally, you’ll be tapped into your own emotional baggage and won’t be able to respond in an effective way. When you are triggered, your children will react to your emotional stuff! This is one of the reasons why #1 is so important.

12.  Envision how you want your children to be instead of looking at and focusing on the things you feel are defects, missing or wrong.

Are you seeing their true perfection or their problems? When you begin to feel disappointed or that there’s something lacking in your child, sit down and make a list of all of their positive aspects and you’ll soon be able to see their true potential, value and perfection. Focus on this.

13.  Find a holistic parenting group for support – find your tribe.

After my daughter was born, my midwife connected me with other holistic moms in her practice who recently had babies and we formed a mom’s support group. As first-time mothers, we nursed our babies together while sharing about ourselves, our babies, our fears, doubts, concerns, our joys, and our wonderful moments with our babies. It was a life-saver for me as a single holistic mom.  Later on I joined a Continuum Concept group with others parents interested in attachment parenting. At one point I also joined my local Mothers’ Club and a babysitting coop. Now there are holistic parenting support groups you can join, i.e. Holistic Moms Network and Families for Conscious Living. You may find a local chapter in your area or you can form one yourself. There are also Mother’s Clubs and babysitting coops in most cities.

http://www.holisticmoms.org/

14.  Breastfeed for as long as possible.

Breastfeeding really is the best thing for babies. And long-term breastfeeding is the norm worldwide. Most children around the world are breast-fed for three to five years or longer. I believe that breastfeeding my daughter for four years was one of the best parenting decisions I made.

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/story/2012-05-11/breastfeeding-rates/54909940/1
https://healthychild.com/breastfeeding-for-a-strong-immune-system

15.  Find a sling that’s comfortable for carrying your baby.

Carrying your baby in a sling allows you to meet his or her need for touch and holding, while freeing your hands for other tasks. You can go about your day, holding your baby close, breastfeeding discreetly right there in the sling. Your contented baby then is able to see and experience more of the world from this vantage point, increasing his or her learning from life.

16.  As much as you can, let go of your fears and worries.

Your children can feel when you are fearful or worried about certain things and they may become insecure about these things too. Children pick up on parents’ anxiety and become anxious themselves. If you trust in yourself and believe that all is well, your children will feel the same.

17.  Make food and eating fun and not a battle.

When my daughter was really young, I was pretty restrictive and controlling about food choices. This backfired on me. Once I began teaching her about healthy food and allowed her to make her own choices, food became a lot more easy and fun. And she eventually chose to eat pretty healthy foods all on her own. It’s important to establish life-long love of healthy food vs. setting our kids up for rebellion or powerlessness in making their own choices.

18.  Manage your time wisely so you can make time to fully immerse yourself in your child’s world.

Your child knows when you are multi-tasking or have your mind on other things. When you make the time to fully be with your child, give him or her your full undivided attention and awareness. This teaches them to value themselves and others.

19.  Be less serious! Sing, dance, and laugh a lot with your children.

20.  Your children are your greatest teachers! Be open to learning from them.

This list is certainly not all-inclusive of the most important tips. See Part 2 for 20 more tips.

Please share your comments below.

5 Comments

  1. Although I’ve only been a parent for 28 months, from my experience with my two children, I couldn’t agree more wholeheartedly with your advice! Sharing!

  2. Pingback: Essential Parenting Tips from 18 Years of Holistic Parenting Experience | Healthy Kids Blog

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