How to Prevent Meltdowns and Create Peace in Your Family

In this blog series you learned about the potential causes of children’s intense meltdowns. You discovered what happens in the brain during these highly emotional outbursts, and you learned how to be present with your children during their worst tantrums.

At this point you may be totally at your wits’ end wondering how you will ever be able to change what’s happening. You might still be experiencing power struggles and difficulties, even after doing the steps to help your child through the meltdowns.

Changing patterns can take time.

If you’ve been relying on threats, punishment, rewards or yelling to get your child to cooperate, you can expect some bumps as you form new patterns of relating.

If the meltdowns are still occurring, just know that if you hang in there with a true desire to be with your child in empathy and understanding, the outbursts will eventually lessen or stop.

You might find that things get worse for a bit while your child begins to trust you and the underlying hurts and frustrations are released. In time, he can feel more comfortable with all his challenging feelings. He can trust you to help him and he no longer needs to get angry; he can give up the fight.

You can repair and strengthen your relationship with your child. It may not be easy and there’s a transitioning involved, but the rewards are huge. Over time you can establish a deep trust and create lasting respect and cooperation.

Keep Listening.

Keep listening for the underlying story. Carefully pay attention with a curious mind at any chance you get to know your child on a deeper level than ever before. Look for opportunities to see the world from your child’s point of view. To be fully present and listen with empathy you’ll need to drop your judgements and agendas and be open to whatever is there.

When you are in tune, you’ll begin to see the signs that she’s starting to feel emotionally overwhelmed. You’ll begin to notice what triggers your child, and you’ll be better able to recognize when a meltdown is coming on. With practice, you will trust yourself to know.

Stick to the Limits.

Connecting with your child with empathy does not mean that you allow her to always do what she wants. Limits and boundaries are key to a respectful relationship. You can set appropriate limits while allowing your child to have her feelings about it.

In a healthy, connected relationship, kids don’t get everything they want. But they do get a parent who understands and accepts them, no matter what.

When your child feels deeply heard and understood, she will stop fighting you since she knows you are on her side. You may be surprised how the behavior shifts.

Look for Clues of Physical Imbalances.

Keep in mind that there might be physiological imbalances that are contributing to your child’s explosive meltdowns. You can begin to pay attention to signs of nutrient deficiencies or food sensitivities – or other signs of chronic physical issues. If you schedule a call with me, we can figure that out together.

Finding it difficult to keep your cool with your child?

It’s difficult to maintain your calm and interact effectively and peacefully (consistently) with your children if you are tired, stressed and depleted. Most of us find this very difficult!

Are you parenting from reactivity?

If you are getting triggered by your child’s behavior, you might be sabotaging your connection and your relationship. You can’t effectively parent from a place of upset or anger. This will cause more resistance in your child and more meltdowns.

How do you show up as the parent you want to be – even when your stress levels are through the roof?

In my Calm Connected Parenting Program, I will help you uncover why you are getting triggered and help you resolve it within yourself so that you can show up more effectively for your child. You can recognize your triggers right when they come up and choose a different way of being. You can resolve those triggers, so you don’t get upset so often. You can notice when you’re getting close to the edge and return yourself to calm.

Life is not stress free and it never will be. But you can develop a different relationship to stress and become more calm and centered – even when your child is being difficult. You’ll know exactly what works for you in those moments when your kids are strongly acting out. When your children feel understanding from you instead of reactivity, they can begin to release their own stress and stop fighting you.

When you stop trying to control your kids from a place of upset and frustration, you will have more influence with them. In my Calm, Connected Parenting Program you will learn how to set limits that your kids will want to comply with – without losing your connection or damaging your relationship. They will embrace your guidance and rules because it feels good to them to do so.

I will help you go from exhausted and depleted to more relaxed and recharged. I will help you create your perfect self-care plan, individualized to your needs and completely attainable within your extremely busy schedule. You will begin to have an ongoing sense of well-being within yourself and experience a more fun and light-hearted way of being with your kids.

When you are emotionally equipped to deal with all that parenting throws at you – the upsets, the hurts, the arguments, the joys, the sorrows, all the heart-wrenching moments – you will be able to effectively assist your child with his or her strong feelings to move through it all without anger or harm to your child and your relationship.

When you parent in a way that is respectful to your child’s growth and well-being, then everyone wins. You’ll be amazed at how your child will respond to the rules and respect your requests.

It seems like magic. But it’s not. You have to do the work to get to this point.

As you change, your child changes! And then parenting can become joyful, playful, and fun!

I am currently offering a limited number of free assessment calls to help you identify the causes of your child’s behavior so you can know exactly what to do to resolve it.

Here’s what we will do on your free 45-minute session:

• I provide a judgement-free, confidential space for you to talk about the specific struggles that exist in your family right now so I can help you determine what you can do to resolve it.
• Together, we will figure out exactly what your best next steps are to decrease those meltdowns, improve communication and cooperation, and most importantly, achieve a deeper connection with your child.

Find the clarity you need by scheduling your assessment call now!

Schedule Your Free Consultation Call